If you feel like you would rather be in a place that’s not where you are now, this post is for you.
1.) Rest, But Don’t Stop
Prolonged Separation with no end date can turn even the sanest person into a ball of anxiety.
It is not easy to love when you are so far away from your loved one.
It’s normal to feel anxiety because the Separation triggers a sense of powerlessness.
To stop the pain you are feeling, you may choose to cut off contact.
When you feel the need to cut everything off, it may be a sign that you are feeling burnout. Burnout from holding on. Burnout from pushing.
To solve burnout, consider resting instead of stopping.
Rest. Rejuvenate. Take some time for yourself.
It’s not the best time to quit everything because you are not in the right state of mind when making that decision.
Consider quitting when you are in a much-rested state of mind.
2.) Lean into Friendship
You are never alone. It’s cliche but true.
Force yourself to socialize online even when you want to curl up in bed.
Find safe spaces where you can breathe.
Join communities like Clubhouse, where you can interact with people in real-time.
Social media is meant to be two-way. You do not need to sit there and watch everyone having the time of their lives. You can engage. You can make new friends. Use technology to your advantage.
3.) Pray
Separation is not the ideal situation. That’s why it hurts so much. If you could, you would be with the people you love right now.
But life happens. Sh*t hits the fan.
In times like this, consider surrendering.
Surrendering and taking action are not mutually exclusive behaviors.
You can take action while at the same time acknowledge that some things are not in your control. Praying alleviates the mental burden you put on yourself. That burden you release from surrendering creates space for you to work on things you control.
4.) Knock on the Third Door
Society can knock you down, making you feel like you are powerless. This is what we call learned helplessness. You start believing you can’t do things.
Here’s the thing, as long as an action is not against Physics’ laws — there is a way. There are ways around things.
Knock.
Push.
Read Alex Banayan’s book The Third Door to learn more about the concept of knocking on gates that look seemingly shut.
5.) Lean into the Arts
Creatives know pain because most of us draw from pain.
We create from the most tender parts of our being.
The essence we put out as creators is both individual and universal.
Heartbreak, Separation, Jealousy. Name it. There is a song, a book, or a film for it.
Connecting with the arts allows you to feel less alone in pain.
There is something therapeutic about knowing that someone out there in this vast universe gets you. And the good news is, someone does get you. An artist from 100 years ago. An author from South Korea. You are never alone.
I found solace during the loneliest time of my life in Los Angeles through Simone de Beauvoir’s biography — a philosopher who is long gone but whose spirit is steadily alive in my heart.
Feel held by artists from the past and the present.
You will find that work that brings you peace.
